He heard the deep laughter start from above his head.
It was only dark for a few seconds, as Zhuang Yan removed his hands quickly and sat to the side as if nothing happened.
On the screen, the scene had already changed.
The scene just now actually had no explicit images; it was just the male and female lead being affectionate on the bed, and the scene changed before they took off their clothes.
Zhuang Yan just wanted to tease him.
Xie Ning held the pillow in a death grip, and said unhappily, “I’m an adult.”
“Really?” Zhuang Yan lifted his eyebrows. “You don’t really look like it.”
Xie Ning saw a flash of amusement in his eyes, and finally realized that he was making fun of him.
He pursed his lips again, stopped talking, and shifted to the right, as if he wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.
Zhuang Yan laughed out loud again, and only stopped when he saw Xie Ning’s glare.
How could he be so cute?
Xie Ning glowered at him a little more, before turning and focusing on the movie again.
Zhuang Yan had teased him to his satisfaction, and didn’t do anything else afterwards. He sat quietly until the movie was over.
The screen turned black, and when the credits rolled, Zhuang Yan asked, “Was it good?”
Xie Ning pondered this question. “It was quite a good movie. After a pause, he added, “If you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t have thought that this movie had the same director.”
“Why?” Zhuang Yan raised his eyebrows. “It doesn’t seem like it?”
Xie Ning nodded. “It’s done in a completely different style.”
<Return to Sender Love Letter> had a tumultuous plot, was immersive, and until the end, the audience only had one question.
Was Fancy an actual person that existed, or just a fantasy in the female protagonist’s heart?
“In this movie, the director seems to be suppressing his own style, and it’s more similar to what the public would like,” Xie Ning said.
Zhuang Yan didn’t react to his comment. “This is usually the only way for most directors; they eventually need to make movies that bow to the public’s taste.”
Xie Ning looked at his expression. “The public’s taste is not necessarily the best.”
Zhuang Yan lifted his eyebrow. “Whether a movie is good or bad is generally based on two things: the box office results and word of mouth. These two things usually rely on the general public.”
Box office results, which the audience pays for. Word of mouth, which the audience rates.
Everyone says that commercial movies look at box office results, and literary movies look at word of mouth. Even though they are both artistic movies, the box office results and word of mouth of <Return to Sender Love Letter> is much higher than those of <The Monologue>.
Zhuang Yan continued, “Sure, both you and I might like <The Monologue> better, but we’re in the minority. As a director, they only want two things: money or fame. Those with a clear head will understand which route they should take.”
If it was a normal day, Xie Ning would have just politely laughed after hearing what he just said.
But for some reason today, he became irritated.
Maybe those sorts of sincere words were much too sharp, but it felt like there was a needle pricking his skin.
He said, “Maybe other people are like that, but not Zhuang Yan.”
Zhuang Yan heard a decisive tone in his calm words.
He chuckled, and dragged out his words. “Oh?~”
Xie Ning said, “If he was, then he wouldn’t have directed a movie like <The Monologue>. Maybe I don’t understand movies as well as you do, but I know art better than you do.”
Zhuang Yan stared at him. “Are you saying that his movies are a sort of a-art?”
“Yes.” Xie Ning nodded. “His movies aren’t trying to express anything to the public, but are trying to express something to himself. Maybe he had bowed his head before, and filmed <Return to Sender Love Letter>, which is a movie that suits the public more, but after bowing his head, he felt…”
Xie Ning paused for two seconds, and relayed his own thoughts. “Felt as if the general public’s favored aesthetic and taste is too idiotic, and raised his head again to film his own movies.”
Zhuang Yan was silent again.
He looked at Xie Ning steadily, neither of them saying anything, until Xie Ning’s heart felt stuffy and upset.
After a long while, Zhuang Yan laughed lightly. “What you said is very interesting.”
Xie Ning: “If you don’t like what I said, you can pretend I didn’t say anything.”
“No.” The screen became dark, as no one had operated it in a while, and the home theater was plunged into darkness. Zhuang Yan reached out and ruffled Xie Ning’s hair.
“I like it a lot.”
Zhuang Yan got up and removed the disc. With his movement, the room lit up with a faint light.
As if he just thought of something, he turned around and asked, “Do you know Zhuang Yan?”
Xie Ning paused for a moment, and almost said that he had heard of Zhuang Yan from Xu Qing long ago, but this sort of personal and one-sided recognition probably didn’t count.
He shook his head. “I don’t know him.”
Zhuang Yan lifted his eyebrow. “What you said just now, makes it seem like you know him very well.”
Xie Ning smiled, and said, “Mr. Blue Whale, those of us in the field of art rely on works to communicate with one another. We don’t need to know each other to understand each other.”
Zhuang Yan finally laughed loudly. “Hahahahahahaha, Mr. Rabbit, you’re truly interesting.”
What is he laughing at?
Is it really that funny?
Xie Ning pursed his lips.
“What are we watching next?”
Zhuang Yan reached out and pulled him up from the sofa. “Let’s eat first, artist. You didn’t even check the time.”
Xie Ning looked at the time, as if it were an afterthought. It was time for dinner.
Auntie Chen had already finished making dinner, and was waiting for them to be seated.
Xie Ning followed after Zhuang Yan, and had just stepped into the dining room when he smelled a tempting fragrance.
He didn’t know if it was because he was hungry, or if Auntie Chen had actually made the food to smell good.
Auntie Chen, while placing bowls and chopsticks, said, “You guys are out? If you two were any more late, the dishes would have gotten cold.”
Xie Ning laughed, embarrassed. Zhuang Yan, his face calm, took his seat, and asked Auntie Chen to sit down and eat as well.
“There’s a guest today…” Auntie Chen hesitated, looking a little troubled.
Xie Ning hurriedly said, “It’s fine, it’ll be lively if we eat together.”
Earlier, Auntie Chen had said that Zhuang Yan was picky, but Xie Ning didn’t think much of it. He didn’t fully understand what it meant until he was sitting at the table.
Auntie Chen had made a tableful of dishes that smelled, looked, and tasted great. Xie Ning took a couple bites, and thought that it was so good that it would be more than enough to open a restaurant.
But to Zhuang Yan, there were problems everywhere.
“This stone pot fish was on the stove for too long, so its meat is not tender enough.”
Xie Ning swallowed the fish meat in his mouth. He was just about to praise how tender and juicy it was.
“The greens are too old and not fresh enough. Next time, buy them from a different market.”
Xie Ning picked up a green, and thought it seemed pretty crispy.
“These pieces of dried bamboo shoots are too cut too big, making it hard to chew. The heat used to cook also wasn’t hot enough, so the flavor didn’t sink in.”
It was light, fragrant, and crispy. If the flavor didn’t sink into this, then what could it sink into?
Xie Ning: “...”
Finally, Zhuang Yan picked up a bit of eggplant with minced meat and chewed it a couple times. In front of Auntie Chen’s panicked eyes, he said calmly, “There’s too much salt, so it’s salty.”
This person is really hard to serve. Not only was he picky, he was also harsh with his words.
Xie Ning took a bite of the eggplant. He didn’t think it was too salty, or whatever Zhuang Yan said.
Auntie Chen’s face was even more panicked. “Mister, I…”
Zhuang Yan interrupted her. “The standard of the dishes you’ve made today are so low. It’s not the standard you should be at.”
“It won’t happen again next time.” Auntie Chen stood up. Xie Ning saw her pale face, and felt some compassion for her.
Zhuang Yan asked, “Tell me, what happened? You’ve been absent-minded today.”
Auntie Chen said, “Mister, I-I want to take a few days off.”
Zhuang Yan furrowed his brows. “Something happened at home?”
Auntie Chen nodded. “My grandson was playing around, and fell down the stairs. He’s still in the hospital.”
Zhuang Yan: “Is he okay?”
Auntie Chen hastily replied, “It’s nothing big, just a leg fracture. His parents are busy at work, and he’s an only child, so he’s nervous being at the hospital alone. I keep worrying about him, and want to stay with him at the hospital for a little.”
“Sit down first, and talk while we eat.” When Zhuang Yan said this, Auntie Chen’s complexion improved a lot. “How many days are you going to go for?”
Auntie Chen said, “Every couple of days, I can come to clean the house, but I probably can’t make dinner.”
Zhuang Yan made a noise in response.
Auntie Chen glanced at him, a little panicked, not sure if he had agreed to her request.
Zhuang Yan didn’t make another sound. When he finished eating, he put down his chopsticks and walked upstairs.
Auntie Chen: “M-Mister isn’t mad, is he?”
Xie Ning comforted her, saying, “He shouldn’t be. He isn’t such an unreasonable person.”
Even though he said this, he wasn’t confident in his heart.
This Mr. Blue Whale had a strange temper.
“You’re right.” Auntie Chen nodded, and said, “Mister is just rough with his words, but he is still a good person.”
Xie Ning was silent for a few seconds, and replied internally, His personality isn’t much, either.
Zhuang Yan came back down before long, with his credit card in hand. He handed it to Auntie Chen, saying, “There’s tens of thousands in here. Take it.”
Auntie Chen paled, thinking that Zhuang Yan was giving her severance pay. “Mister!”
Zhuang Yan waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. I don’t know how much your grandson’s hospital fees will be, so take this money first. Think of it as a year-end bonus.”
Auntie Chen cautiously responded, “This, I can’t accept this.”
Zhuang Yan frowned. “If I tell you to take it, just take it.”
As soon as he made this expression, his imposing manner became even stronger, and Auntie Chen didn’t dare to refuse anymore. She hurriedly thanked him.
When they returned to the home theater, Xie Ning said, “I didn’t expect you to be such a nice person.”
Zhuang Yan took a glance at him. “Auntie Chen has been in our household for over ten years. She’s trustworthy and skilled. If I fire her, I won’t be able to find someone more satisfactory.”
This time, he was praising her skills, as if he wasn’t the critic at the table just now.
He led Xie Ning to a shelf this time, saying, “I don’t know which ones you’ve watched, and which ones you haven’t, so you can pick.”
Xie Ning, seeing how many discs there were, was surprised. “This many?”
Zhuang Yan: “I did say that I have all of Zhuang Yan’s works.”
Xie Ning was moved. “I didn’t think you were a diehard fan.”
Zhuang Yan: “...You have so much to say. Pick one, quickly.”
Xie Ning ran his fingertips across the discs, and finally picked one out, reading its name out loud, “<Changing Heart>?”
He wondered, “Zhuang Yan had filmed such a movie? How come I don’t remember this at all?”
Zhuang Yan, hearing the title, glanced over at it. “This is a very early work that wasn’t aired overseas. It’s only been circulated in a small group.”
“You even have such a niche work?”
Zhuang Yan said, indifferently, “I even have his university thesis.
Xie Ning: “...I’ll consider you omnipotent.”
Zhuang Yan purposely asked, “Are you sure you want to watch this one?”
Xie Ning nodded. “Let’s watch this one.”
Zhuang Yan didn’t say anything unnecessarily, and directly put the disc in the projector.
Xie Ning found out very quickly why this movie was so niche.
It was a gay movie.
Gay movies were popular a few years ago for a little while. Later on, same-sex marriage became legal, and the controversy over homosexuality also reached its peak. Thus, many directors had dabbled in this topic.
Unexpectedly, Zhuang Yan had also filmed something on this topic.
Most of Zhuang Yan’s movies were filmed outside of China, so the protagonists were mainly foreigners.
However, <Changing Heart> was based in Beijing, and the two leads were Chinese.
The story began when same-sex marriage was still illegal, and ended when same-sex marriage was legalized.
It tells a story over this period of time.
Xie Ning felt even more awkward.
Forget about the romance movie, but two men watching a gay movie…
Xie Ning knew from a young age that he was gay, through and through, since he only reacted to male bodies.
The scale of a gay movie is even larger than that of a romance movie’s. Sex scenes are necessary, as if it was the only way the world could understand love between men.
Love and sex are always inextricably linked.
Xie Ning wasn’t fidgeting because of the sex scenes, but because of the person sitting next to him.
This time, Xie Ning had the foresight to sit a little farther away from Zhuang Yan. Even so, he was able to feel the strong aura around him.
Xie Ning had personally experienced that aura when he’d gotten closer; it forced his heart to beat faster, and weakened his arms and legs.
Most importantly, this person really liked to flirt with him!
Xie Ning was afraid that he would do something strange later.
He wasn’t sure if he could stand it.
The story developed until the sex scenes were on, and the music became more touching.
Xie Ning took a deep breath, decided to strike first, and turned to look at Zhuang Yan.
Zhuang Yan was taken aback by this look of his, and raised his eyebrows, smiling. “Aren’t you an adult? Why don’t you dare to watch it? Are you shy?”
Xie Ning quietly took back his gaze.
“I-Is there water?” he asked.
When Zhuang Yan looked over, Xie Ning had already lowered his head, and the wavering light illuminated his side profile.
For some reason, Zhuang Yan’s mouth was dry as well. He licked his lips and stood up. “Wait here, I’ll bring some water to you.”
Xie Ning breathed a sigh of relief and focused on the movie after he saw Zhuang Yan walk out.
<Changing Heart> is a very old-fashioned story about a gay couple’s struggle between family, school, and fighting customs. They finally walked hand-in-hand fearlessly under the sunlight when same-sex marriage became legal.
However, this was not the happy ending to the story. When the world accepted same-sex marriage, when homosexuality is no longer forbidden, and there is no more external pressure on these lovers, that is when their internal struggles begin to become more amplified by every passing day.
Life’s daily struggles gradually wiped out their love, and eventually, their hearts changed. Through arguments and cold wars, they separated and parted ways.
Zhuang Yan’s earlier work was not developed yet. The narrative, shooting techniques, and camera transitions were not smooth or natural enough.
The feeling of depression wouldn’t dissipate.
Xie Ning, as a gay man, felt empathetic and a sense of sorrow. His heart felt like it was being crushed by a rock.
Zhuang Yan always considered his earlier works as part of his dark past, so he didn’t let others watch it easily.
This time, seeing how Xie Ning’s expression seemed off, he couldn’t help asking, “What’s wrong? Was it not good?”
Xie Ning shook his head and recovered his spirit, though his eyes were still a bit misty with tears.
He uncomfortably grasped his wrist and rubbed it a couple times, asking, “Can you give me this movie?”
He surprised himself by asking this, only noticing after he’d already finished asking. “It may be presumptuous of me, but...I really do like it a lot.”
“I can see that.” Zhuang Yan raised an eyebrow and asked, “Why?”
Xie Ning pursed his lips, his thoughts whirling around in his head.
He knew that his request was quite abrupt, but he really…
Zhuang Yan continued to ask, “Are you gay?”
Xie Ning whipped his head back to look at him.
After a while, he nodded. “Yes, I am.”
Zhuang Yan saw his eyes darken.
Xie Ning lowered his head to get out of Zhuang Yan’s line of sight. “My apologies, I asked for too much with this request of mine.”
Just as he was feeling despondent, Zhuang Yan had already walked to the projector and taken the disc out. He returned to stand in front of Xie Ning, and said, “Reach out your hand.”
Xie Ning: “?”
Zhuang Yan put the disc in his hand and smiled lightly. “I can give it to you. But you can’t take it without doing something for me in return, right?”
Xie Ning: “I can draw another picture for you?”
Zhuang Yan shook his head. “What would I need so many of your drawings for?”
Xie Ning widened his eyes and looked at him. “Then…”
Zhuang Yan asked, “How about agreeing to one of my requests?”
Xie Ning, seeing the look in his eyes, nodded unconsciously.
Zhuang Yan laughed out loud. “I didn’t even tell you what the request was, and you accepted. You’re not afraid that I’m going to sell you?”
Xie Ning drank a sip of water, and said, “Human trafficking is illegal.”
Zhuang Yan choked.
Seeing Xie Ning’s rosy face, his breathing deepened, and he desperately wanted to tease him.
The next second, his hands surrounded Xie Ning’s face, and pinched his cheeks. “The feeling is quite good.”
Xie Ning’s face got even redder. “You…”
“Mr. Rabbit,” Zhuang Yan looked at him with a smile that might not be a smile, “Can I bring up any request?”
The feeling of pressure and legs weakening befell Xie Ning once again, since he was being stared at in such a way.
Xie Ning couldn’t help thinking, Isn’t it just a disc? If worse comes to worst, he could just not want it anymore; what kind of excessive request could he ask for?!
Zhuang Yan, seeing how Xie Ning’s ears were thoroughly red, finally stopped teasing him, since he was in a good mood.
“Then, I’ll request this; can I go to your house for meals for a couple of days?
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Translator's Notes:
life's daily struggles - 柴米油盐 means life's daily necessities, but i changed it according to the context!
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