chapter 40 - psychotherapy

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[Ji WenBin, male, 34 years old. Chief Physician of the Department of Psychology, Master’s Degree in Psychology, member of China’s Mental Health Association…]

The rest was a long list of his resume. Zhuang Yan combed through it roughly. It included him being a state-certified class 2 psychological counselor, an internationally recognized hypnotherapist, etc.

Continuing down the list.

[Indications of various neuroses (anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive, hypochondria, etc), schizophrenia, mood disorders (mania, bipolar disorder, depression), insomnia, stress disorder, and other psychological problems…]

13:45.

Zhuang Yan closed the file that contained information someone had found for him and put his phone on the table. Not even a few minutes had passed when there was some movement from the door. The private room door opened, and the waiter led someone inside.

“Room 888 is here.”

The person walked to the seat across from Zhuang Yan and sat down, raised his eyes, and greeted him. “Zhuang Yan.”

Zhuang Yan pulled the corners of his mouth up, and responded indifferently, “Yan Xi.”

Yan Xi seemed to smile, then turned and ordered some tea from the waiter. “I don’t like to drink coffee, so just this is fine.”

The water took the menu away and closed the door on his way out.

“I’ve been busy recently, and I was on a business trip out of town a couple of days ago, so I’ve only had time to talk to you recently.” Zhuang Yan’s handsome brows were slightly furrowed. His lips tightened, and the tone of his voice carried a sense of irritation with it.

That kind of irritation wasn’t just directed at Yan Xi alone. It was as if something was upsetting him recently that he couldn’t deal with, and a depressed aura came over him.

This whole time, Yan Xi didn’t want to see Zhuang Yan.

When Zhuang Yan was still abroad and only known as Xu Qing’s white moonlight, Yan Xi didn’t have a good impression of him already.

Less than two months after coming back to china, he abducted Xie Ning. Yan Xi felt even more like a father that was looking at his son-in-law; no matter how he viewed him, he wasn’t satisfied.

He smiled reluctantly, trying to make Zhuang Yan uncomfortable, and raised his chin at him. “It’s not that easy to meet with you.”

Zhuang Yan ignored the ridicule hidden in his words and went straight to the business they were there for. “When you asked SuChuan for my contact information before, I guessed that there was something you wanted to discuss.”

Yan Xi made a sound in affirmation.

Zhuang Yan continued to say, “It just so happens that I also have something to ask you.”

Yan Xi’s face was cold. “Xie Ning’s matter?”

“Yes,” Zhuang Yan nodded, “Xie Ning’s matter.”

Yan Xi softly hmphed.

Zhuang Yan raised his eyebrows. “I think we have the same purpose, so you don’t need to be so rude to me.”

Yan Xi raised his chin again. “You don’t have to talk so much nonsense either. I don’t think you’re really pleasing to the eyes, but I won’t purposely trip you up.”

He paused and added, “Especially on things that relate to Xie Ning.”

Zhuang Yan held back a smile and responded, with a blank expression, “Since it’s like that, then I won’t pretend anymore.”

Yan Xi snorted. “Talk. Why were you looking for me?”

Zhuang Yan stroked the edges of his cup with his hand. “Xie Ning moved into my house recently.”

Yan Xi was stunned. “...You!”

“Don’t get mad.” Zhuang Yan raised his eyebrow and recovered some lost ground. “Xie Ning agreed already. Xu Qing had found where he lived in Lakeside Villa before.”

He explained what happened with Xu Qing in just a few sentences. “I don’t think it’s too safe for Xie Ning to keep living alone, so I had him live with me. Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything to him.”

After hearing this, Yan Xi looked even more strange. He looked at Zhuang Yan for a while and murmured, “I had tried to persuade him before to move in with me, but he didn’t agree, so how come when you bring it up…”

He agreed?

Yan Xi’s expression became weirder and weirder, until he finally sighed, leaned against the back of his chair, and his expression eased. “What else is there? You’re not here just to brag to me about that, right?”

Zhuang Yan said, “You’re Xie Ning’s best friend, and have an extraordinary position in his heart.”

Yan Xi raised his eyebrow. “What? You’re going to praise me first then beat me back down?”

Zhuang Yan continued to say, “Although I think you’re pretty blind, I came here this time to let you see clearly that I’m not Xu Qing, that bastard. I’m worthy for you to hand Xie Ning to me.”

Yan Xi asked, “...Are you asking for my approval?”

“No, I’m just telling you.” Zhuang Yan replied quickly. “Even if you don’t approve, there’s not much you can do.”

The corner of Yan Xi’s mouth twitched. “Oh, then you can fuck off.”

Zhuang Yan ignored him and seemed to have remembered something. He put his cup down, tapped the surface of the table twice, and frowned, saying, “Xie Ning, he…”

He hesitated for a long time.

Yan Xi didn’t say anything and only stared at him like this. His expression slowly became more serious.

Zhuang Yan finally asked, in a low voice, “...Does he have any psychological problems?”

Yan Xi’s expression stopped.

Zhuang Yan lowered his eyes and, seeing Yan Xi’s reaction, knew that he’d found the right person.

Yan Xi furrowed his eyebrows and after a while, asked, “How much do you know.”

“Not much.” Zhuang Yan exhaled lightly. “I just accidentally saw his contacts, and there was a Ji WenBin there, with a note that he’s a psychiatrist. I’m not clear about anything else.”

Yan Xi turned his head and looked out the window. “I introduced him to that doctor.”

Zhuang Yan asked, “He...what’s the problem? Is it serious?”

Yan Xi spread his hands out. “I’m not a psychiatrist, so how would I know? But I suspect...he probably has depression.”

“Depression?” Zhuang Yan paused.

Yan Xi nodded. “Mmn.”

Zhuang Yan was doubtful of this answer. “It...doesn’t seem like it.”

After a long while, Yan Xi said, “There are tens of thousands of ways for depression to manifest itself. Not every person with depression grieves over the passing of spring or feels sad with the advent of autumn. Plus…”

“What?”

“Xie Ning’s reactions in front of you are completely different from his reactions in front of others.” Yan Xi said, sounding unconvinced. “You’ve never seen the other Xie Ning.”

Zhuang Yan rubbed the spot between his brows.

He remembered that Qi Rui had said before that Xie Ning was a noble and indifferent person.

At that time, he suspected that they were talking about two different Xie Nings.

Zhuang Yan was a little distracted.

Yan Xi continued, “I’m only guessing. Guessing doesn’t mean it’s for sure.”

Zhuang Yan couldn’t help himself and refuted, “What is this, Schrodinger’s...depression?”

Yan Xi glared at him. “I’ve asked a psychological counselor before and described Xie Ning’s actions and situation a bit. The counselor suspected that he was depressed...but, I’m still not the patient, and the counselor recommended that he go to a psychiatrist himself for a diagnosis.”

Zhuang Yan said, “That psychologist of Xie Ning’s, called Ji WenBin, right? Have you asked him before?”

“No,” Yan Xi said. “It’s no use to ask him since Xie Ning hasn’t gone to him yet.”

Zhuang Yan paused. “He hasn’t gone yet?”

Yan Xi nodded, pressed his lips together, and said quietly, “Xie Ning, he...rejects psychologists very much.”

“For something like psychotherapy, the patient’s cooperation is needed. If he rejects it severely or is disgusted by it, then the effect could be counterproductive. So I could only try to persuade him a little, and didn’t dare to force him to see a psychologist.”

Someone knocked on the door, and after three knocks, the waiter came in with a tray with tea.

Yan Xi thanked the waiter.

Zhuang Yan pondered for a long time and when the water left, he lifted his head to look at Yan Xi. “Why were you looking for me?”

“It was also about this.” Yan Xi took a sip of tea. “Xie Ning has always found psychologists extremely repulsive, until around the new year. He suddenly asked me for Dr. Ji’s contact information.”

Zhuang Yan said, “Around New Year’s?”

Yan Xi glanced at him. “Yes, I felt like it probably had something to do with you.”

Zhuang Yan’s heart moved and he asked, “When specifically? Which day?”

Yan Xi told him the day.

Zhuang Yan tried to recall, and with mixed feelings in his heart, he whispered, “Yes...the day I confessed to him.”

“I’m looking for you because of this,” Yan Xi said. “Although I don’t really want to admit it, but...you are, to Xie Ning, special.”

Zhuang Yan repeated in a low voice. “...Special?”

Yan Xi coldly responded, “He’s very dependent on you. Or you can say, you give him a sense of security. That day at Lan Zhai, I noticed that he treated you differently, or did you think I’d let anybody take Xie Ning away?”

In Zhuang Yan’s mind, various scenes between him and Xie Ning flashed, especially...Xie Ning being very dependent on his embrace.

He said it felt safe and made him feel at ease.

Zhuang Yan closed his eyes, then opened them. “So it’s because of this psychological problem of his--although I don’t know what it is specifically--that he didn’t respond to my confession?”

Yan Xi glanced at him and responded impatiently, “How would I know?”

Zhuang Yan ignored him, and only felt like he’d knocked over bottles that contained all sorts of different flavors in his heart, mixing the tastes.

Yan Xi took a sip of tea. “I came to you because I felt like you should know about this, and...you might be able to help.”

“What help?” Zhuang Yan asked. “Take him to see the psychologist?”

Yan Xi shook his head, and responded seriously, “Don’t force him, he…”

Before he could finish speaking, his phone suddenly made a sound.

Yan Xi took out his phone and took a look at it, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

He stood up and quickly said towards Zhuang Yan, “Dr. Ji sent me a message, saying that Xie Ning had just gone to him.”

……

As his name suggests, Ji WenBin is a refined and mild person.

His skin is slightly pale, wears a pair of elegant glasses, and has a sort of scholarly aura around him, giving an excellent first impression.

Ji WenBin poured a glass of water for Xie Ning.

Xie Ning sat on the sofa, staring blankly at the glass on the table, not moving.

“You look a little nervous.” Ji WenBin smiled at him, “We can chat for a little first, about anything.”

After a long while, Xie Ning slowly reached his hand out and took the glass of water.

“Thank you.” He opened his mouth and uttered the first sentence he said after walking in the door. His voice was a little hoarse.

……

Two hours later, the conversation was over, and Xie Ning rushed out the door with a pale face.

Half an hour later, two people appeared in Ji WenBin’s office.

Zhuang Yan and Yan Xi.

“I can’t say anything about the patient’s specific situation to anyone because of professional ethics,” Ji WenBin said, “I can only say that the conversation this time...was very far from the ideal.”

Zhuang Yan asked, “What do you mean?”

Ji WenBin sighed. “His rejection towards psychology is very strong. Even though he’s actively seeking treatment, he...is still subconsciously repelling it. He was too nervous, and his body kept trembling unconsciously. I spoke to him carefully the whole time, afraid that I would shock him.”

Yan Xi wasn’t surprised. “He’s always been very resistant.”

“This is the most difficult kind of patient.” Ji WenBin pushed his glasses up. “Because he doesn’t trust me at all, and the things he tells me aren’t the full story. I can’t give a diagnosis easily, so I can only slowly eliminate his rejection towards me.”

Zhuang Yan’s pretty eyebrows furrowed, and he asked, “Can I do anything?”

Ji WenBin said, “Don’t pressure him, and try to slowly lead him to psychotherapy. But don’t force him or give him hints about this.”

He glanced at Zhuang Yan and added, “This time, he took the initiative to contact me, so it’s a good place to start.”

Zhuang Yan nodded.

“Also, according to my observation, he’s not resisting just me.” Ji WenBin said slowly. “He’s resisting...all psychologists. He probably received psychotherapy before, and something may have happened then that left a terrible impression on him, which could be why he is so repulsed.”

“Of course, this is only a guess of mine.”

While he spoke, Ji WenBin wrote something in his notebook. Yan Xi stared at his moving pen and stood there, his spirit exiting his body.

Zhuang Yan was silent for a while, and finally asked, “Then...what psychological problem does he have, exactly? Are you able to say it?”

“My apologies, if the patient has not given their consent, I cannot disclose any information related to his condition.” Ji WenBin thought about it, and lowered his head to write something in his notebook. He then ripped out that piece of paper and handed it to Zhuang Yan. “This is my contact information.”

Yan Xi watched Zhuang Yan take the paper and still didn’t say anything.

Zhuang Yan frowned. “You can’t tell me anything at all?”

Ji WenBin replied mildly, “The progress made in the conversation this time can be said to be 0, and to be honest, there’s nothing I can really tell you. I know you guys care about him, but I’m doing this out of respect and protection for the patient. I hope you can understand.”

Zhuang Yan rubbed the spot between his eyebrows, and after a while, responded, “Then I must trouble Dr. Ji; in the future I may come to bother you often.”

Ji WenBin nodded. “I also had this intention.”

When the two of them got ready to leave, Ji WenBin suddenly said, “In the case where he isn’t being very cooperative, I hope you guys can provide me with some more information.”

He said, “I suspect that his illness has an inseparable connection to his past experiences.”

……

When the two of them came out of Ji WenBin’s office, Yan Xi still didn’t say anything, looking as if he was hiding something and was worried about Xie Ning from the bottom of his heart.

He took two steps in a daze, until a pair of arms in front of him stopped him.

Yan Xi raised his head and looked into Zhuang Yan’s shadowy eyes.

Zhuang Yan raised his eyebrows and said, “Should we chat more about things related to Xie Ning?”

Yan Xi looked at him, and nodded blankly.