chapter 26 - video call

New Year’s day.

The Xie family’s custom is to have the younger generations greet the elder generation, one after another, after New Year’s. Elder Xie’s seniority is high, so on New Year’s day, everyone comes to his house first. On the second day of the new year, Xie Zun and Xie Jing will take others to relative’s homes to greet them.

When Zhuang Yan dropped Xie Ning off at home yesterday, it was already past midnight. In the morning, nobody bothered him, so he slept until almost noon before he woke up.

There were a lot of relatives and friends sitting in the living room. Some of them looked familiar to Xie Ning, but others he couldn’t remember at all.

There were also a couple of children that ran up and down the stairs, playing wildly. Thankfully, the soundproofing in the large compound was good, so Xie Ning was able to sleep until now.

The men seemed to have all gone to the chess and cards room, and the other people in the living room were clumped in groups of two or three.

Xie An’s face looked bitter as he was surrounded by a group of elders that discussed random things, from introducing him to a girlfriend to arranging a blind date. Right now, there were a bunch of aunts already discussing, with Su JinYan, what to name his future child.

Elder Xie’s lounge chair had been moved to one side of the balcony, and he was covered in a small blanket, enjoying the winter sun’s sunlight.

His eyes were closed, and it was unclear if he was sleeping or if he closed them to get some rest.

Xie Ning walked over quietly and wanted to say hello to Elder Xie.

He got halfway there when Xia Wan called out to him. “NingNing.”

Xie Wan and two or three other ladies who were about her age were sitting at a table on the balcony. Seeing Xie Ning come out, she waved him over.

“This child, sleeping until now.” Xia Wan pretended to complain about him, and introduced him. “NingNing, this is your Aunt Sun and Aunt Liu.”

Xie Ning was always well-behaved in front of his elders, so he greeted them. Xia Wan pulled him down to sit on the small stool next to her.

Xia Wan smiled and said, “I heard the art exhibition that was held at the art gallery before the year ended was quite famous. NingNing, since you study art, did you go take a look?”

Xie Ning shook his head. “I was too busy then, so I didn’t go.”

Xie Ning had heard of that exhibition before. It was held on Christmas Eve, and at the time he had just accepted the <Record of Mountain and Sea> Christmas poster project, so he couldn’t spare any time to go see it.

“That’s a bit of a shame,” Xia Wan said. “Your Aunt Sun happened to go see it, and she said the art that was being displayed was all very good. You like drawing so much; you should have gone to see it.”

Xie Ning smiled, not knowing how to answer.

He and Xia Wan had been cold to each other for many years, and it’d been a long time since they sat together and tried to talk in such a good tone.

Since it was New Year’s and there were elders surrounding him, Xie Ning thought he would just let them say a couple sentences, politely smile, and it would pass.

Who knew that Xia Wan would continue to say, “Your Aunt Sun even saw a drawing she liked and wanted to buy it. The artist is a girl, and Aunt Sun says that she looked very graceful. She’s younger than you by only two years and is taking additional studies at the Academy of Fine Arts. She participated in the exhibition with her teacher.”

Mrs. Sun, next to her, chimed in, “I’m not exaggerating. That little girl’s aura overall was better than good. You could tell at a glance that she wasn’t raised by an ordinary family. Maybe it’s a trait that only artists have. When I saw you today, I felt like you guys have a different aura than others.”

Xia Wan’s expression brightened when she heard her praise Xie Ning so much.

Xie Ning now understood what Xia Wan was about to do and lowered his eyes, his expression becoming more closed off.

Xia Wan smiled and responded, “Aunt Sun talked to the girl a bit when she was buying the painting. She said she’s from a scholarly family and was very knowledgeable. You like drawing, too, so you might have a common language with her.”

Xie Ning didn’t say anything, and Aunt Sun responded, “You’re both young people, so you should be able to talk together.”

Xia Wan asked, softly, “I quite like this girl after hearing your Aunt Sun mention her. Coincidentally, you seem to be free for a couple of days, so why don’t you...meet with her?”

Xie Ning pressed his lips together. When Xia Wan couldn’t resist and was about to schedule a meeting time with Aunt Sun, Xie Ning coldly said, “Mom.”

Xia Wan’s expression stiffened after hearing him call her like that.

Xie Ning’s voice wasn’t heavy, and he unhurriedly said, “If you want to see her, I won’t stop you. If you like her, then I don’t have any objection to you naming her as your adopted daughter or something.”

Xia Wan’s expression suddenly turned ugly. “What do you mean by this?”

“You don’t know what I mean?” Xie Ning laughed self-deprecatingly and said, after looking at her for a while, “Go see her yourself; you don’t need to take me with you.”

Xia Wan was so angry, she couldn’t speak.

Mrs. Sun, noticing how the atmosphere wasn’t right, quickly tried to smooth things over. “Since Xie Ning’s not willing, then it’s fine.”

Xia Wan picked up the teacup and poured the cold water down her throat before her mind slightly calmed down.

She couldn’t help but say, “You can’t follow and listen to what my heart wants, even when celebrating New Year’s?”

Xie Ning watched her quietly for a while, and his heart laughed mockingly.

He used to think that way as well. After all, she was his biological mother, and even if there were no feelings, he could still give her some face.

But Xia Wan’s personality was strong, and she would want a mile if you gave her an inch.

He didn’t say a word today, and Xia Wan was already about to schedule a time to meet.

If he met her, Xia Wan would have invited the girl to their house another day.

If he met her a couple more times, Xia Wan might have already planned out their wedding.

For some things, if he takes one step back, then he’ll continue to retreat, step by step.

For the four years that he used Xu Qing as a shield, Xia Wan made no lack of attempts to indirectly make him “walk on the right path”.

Xie Ning didn’t want to make trouble during New Year’s but he also didn’t want to keep acting as if they were a mother and filial son here anymore.

He stood up and bluntly said, “Meeting her or not is a trivial matter...you know what my circumstances are, and I’m not against letting others know as well.”

Xia Wan was so angered by these words of his that her hands shook. “You…”

Seeing how there was going to be an argument here, Elder Xie, lying on the other end of the balcony, suddenly said, “NingNing.”

Elder Xie, on the lounge chair, opened his eyes and waved him over. “NingNing, come.”

Xie Ning wasn’t sure if Elder Xie had just woken up or had heard the commotion on the other side and came to rescue him.

Xie Ning sighed secretly, walked over to Elder Xie, and bent over to ask, “Grandpa?”

Elder Xie sat up, supporting himself with Xie Ning’s hand. “I want to lie down in my room for a while. NingNing, help me upstairs.”

When he helped Elder Xie to his bedroom, Xie Ning saw that Elder Xie didn’t lie down and instead looked at him, smiling, and he knew that Elder Xie had something to say to him.

Elder Xie should have heard the argument between him and Xia Wan just now.

Xie Ning sighed in his heart.

Surprisingly, Elder Xie didn’t mention what happened just now at all, and smiled, asking, “Xiao Zhong told me that you went out in the middle of the night yesterday?”

Xie Ning was startled.

“Mhm,” he said. “I went out with a friend.”

Elder Xie squinted his eyes and said, satisfied, “Very good. Your personality is too hermit and you should make more friends. It’s too restraining to keep you young people at home during New Year’s.”

He patted Xie Ning’s hand and asked, “How was it? Did you have fun last night?”

Xie Ning revealed a smile, and said softly, “I was happy.”

“It’s good that you’re happy.” Elder Xie chuckled twice. “If it makes you happy, go out and play some more. You don’t need to stay with an old man like me in this stuffy house.”

Xie Ning softly let out a breath. “Mmn.”

After chatting for a couple of sentences, Elder Xie became a little tired, and Xie Ning helped him to lie on the bed. He was about to leave when Elder Xie called out to him.

“After eating, it’s time to offer sacrifices to your grandma and grandpa,” he said. “As angry as you are with your mother, don’t forget to visit your elders.”

Xie Ning was silent for a few seconds, and nodded.

Xie Ning’s (maternal) grandmother and grandfather were buried at ChangLe Cemetery, outside the city. The two elders were professors before they passed away, so every QingMing Festival, students would visit their graves and make offerings.

Xia Wan is their youngest daughter, and was loved very much.

Perhaps because she was in a bad mood, she was uncharacteristically silent on the way there and didn’t mention the girl artist or talk to Xie Ning.

Xie Ning sighed in relief, and even felt a little lucky.

This was the type of contact he was used to with Xia Wan.

ChanLe Cemetery is surrounded by mountains and rivers. It’s said that before construction started, several masters were consulted, and the fengshui was excellent. The price was also the highest in the surrounding locale; normal people might not even be able to purchase a grave at ChangLe Cemetery if they save for a lifetime.

The snow stopped today, but the wind was still quite large, hitting the trees on the road to the cemetery and making rustling noises.

If someone came in the middle of the night, when it was dark and shadowy, it would actually be quite scary.

Xie Ning followed Xie Jing and Xia Wan to pray to his grandmother and grandfather, and then put incense on a small gravestone next to his grandparents’.

That was Xie Ning’s uncle’s. His uncle passed away when he was only in elementary school. At that time, Xie Ning was too young and was still in the south, so if it wasn’t for coming to visit his gravestone every year, he would have almost forgotten that he had an uncle.

Xie Ning’s grandmother and grandfather only had two children. He heard that when his uncle passed away, he wasn’t married yet. The elders were stricken with grief, and their health deteriorated slowly.

Xia Wan, after making her offerings, suddenly said, “Go wait on the car first.”

Xie Jing said softly, “Xia Wan…”

Xia Wan’s face was calm but unreadable. “Let me talk with my parents and my brother for a while, alone.”

Xie Jing still wanted to persuade her otherwise, but seeing her expression, he only sighed and took Xie Ning back to the car.

Halfway to the car, Xie Ning turned around and glanced at Xia Wan. He saw her squat slowly and touch the name on the gravestone.

His heart, for some reason, hurt.

Xie Jing said, “Your mom and I will leave before you one day as well.”

Xie Ning: “...”

Xie Jing looked towards the hill, covered in gravestones. “Right now, we’re all still here. If there’s anything you want to say, you can say it, and if there’s any problems, we can solve it slowly. I just hope that you won’t start regretting when we’ve already left.”

“NingNing. Your mom is too stubborn, and nobody can persuade her otherwise if she’s decided on something. Meanwhile, I’m irresolute and hesitant. Perhaps we aren’t good parents, but we hope that your good heart won’t change.”

Xie Jing ruffled his head. “So, no matter when, don’t say such things like we should pretend you’re not our son. Your mother’s relatives...there are only a couple now.”

Xie Ning looked at him lightly for a while, and finally nodded slowly.

When Xia Wan came back, her eyes were completely red, as if she had cried.

When the car drove out of the cemetery, Xie Ning turned his head and his gaze fell on the “ChangLe Cemetery” sign.

The look in his eyes was cold and light, as if he didn’t know what joy and sorrow were.

He didn’t know how to tell Xie Jing this earlier, but he hadn’t felt the warmth of a family for a long, long time.

No matter how hard he tried to feel it, he could only feel it faintly, as if there was a layer of mist separating him and the warmth.

Thinking about it, he felt a dull pain.

……

At night, they returned to the large compound.

Xie Ning glanced at the two rabbit plushies placed next to his bed, and his depressed mood improved a little.

He sat around in a daze for a while before pulling open the closet to grab a change of clothes when he saw the coat hanging in there, and was caught off guard.

Zhuang Yan insisted on letting him wear it back last night.

As if their hearts were one, his phone rang as soon as he thought of Zhuang Yan’s name.

This time, Zhuang Yan was video calling him.

Xie Ning paused for a moment and slowly accepted the call.

Zhuang Yan’s face appeared on the phone screen. “NingNing?”

Xie Ning: “Mmn.”

“I can’t kidnap you again today,” Zhuang Yan sighed. “There are too many relatives at home, and I can’t get outside.”

Xie Ning said hurriedly, “There’s no need...I don’t want to go out today anyways.”

Zhuang Yan leaned against the wall. “It took me a lot of effort to find somewhere quiet so I can talk to you.”

Xie Ning said, “If you’re busy, you can go first.”

“It’s fine.” Zhuang Yan shook his head. “It’s all relatives gossiping, from the oldest to the youngest. I think it’s annoying, but I can’t escape.”

Xie Ning lightly made a sound.

Zhuang Yan chuckled. “Originally, I wasn’t going to bother you at this time…”

Xie Ning thought that Zhuang Yan assumed he was busy, so he said quickly, “I also don’t have anything to do.”

Zhuang Yan slowly curled up the corner of his lip and smiled.

“But I really miss you so much.” He said, in a low voice, “It’s only been one day, and I can’t help but want to see you…”

Xie Ning: “...”

Xie Ning’s ears turned red when he heard Zhuang Yan say such straightforward words in his deep voice.

Zhuang Yan, seeing Xie Ning’s appearance, smiled deeper and his voice softened. “How about you?”

“I…” Xie Ning opened his mouth and found that he was speaking too quietly. He spoke louder, saying, “I’m planning to shower, and then sleep.”

Zhuang Yan lifted his eyebrows. “You’re going to sleep this early?”

Xie Ning said, “It’s not that early. You should sleep earlier, too. Last night you probably arrived home at around 2am, so did you sleep enough today? Did you catch a cold?”

Zhuang Yan, in high spirits, looked at him. “Are you caring for me right now?”

Xie Ning bit his lip, and said quietly, “Just...caring for you with a few sentences.”

Zhuang Yan laughed again. “How could I catch a cold with the blessing you gave me? And I’m really healthy, don’t worry.”

Hearing his laugh, Xie Ning’s ears felt crisp, and it took him a while to say, “I-I’m going to shower now.”

Zhuang Yan said, “NingNing, did you know that saying something like that at a time like this counts as flirting?”

Xie Ning was at a loss and said, “Ah?”

Zhuang Yan teased him on purpose. “What if I misunderstood and thought that you wanted to take a shower and video call with me at the same time?”

“...” Xie Ning turned his head away. “That’s not what I meant!”

Zhuang Yan, seeing Xie Ning move away from the camera as if he wanted to exit the frame altogether, felt as if his heart was being brushed up against by a feather.

Before he could speak again, Xie Ning turned his head back and with his face red, said, “Don’t say anything else.”

Zhuang Yan had teased him enough and generously let him go. “Alright, I won’t say anything. I’ll just look at you like this.”

Xie Ning was caught off guard, and recalled the “take a shower and video call with me at the same time” line he just said. His face blushed even more, and he said, “You can’t look at me either.”

Zhuang Yan replied, surprised, “You won’t even let me look at you now? NingNing the child is a little bit stingy recently.”

Xie Ning: “...”

Zhuang Yan noticed that it really was quite late already, and kindly said, “I was joking just now; don’t take it seriously.”

Xie Ning blinked. “...I know.”

But he couldn’t help but take it seriously every time.

“But you still didn’t answer one of my questions just now.” Zhuang Yan continued to say.

Xie Ning thought for a while, and confusedly asked, “Which question?”

“I said I miss you.” Zhuang Yan’s voice was soft and tender. “What about you? Do you miss me?”

Xie Ning: “...”

Zhuang Yan, unsparingly, said, “Answer me, NingNing.”

Xie Ning pressed his lips together and, after a long while, with a tiny, mosquito-like voice, said, “...I do.”

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Author’s Note:

NingNing: Why do you appear every time I’m in a bad mood?

ZhuangZhuang: Because our hearts are one.

Translator's Notes:

xia wan was so angry, she couldn't speak - this is a more colloquial phrase, so i tried to make it sound better in english~

want a mile if you gave her an inch - "get an inch, wants a mile/foot"; greedier and greedier, basically

xiao zhong - uncle zhong, but he's referred to as "xiao zhong" here bc elder xie is older than he is!

qingming festival - tomb sweeping day, chinese memorial day

crisp - it's basically the feeling you get if someone blows in your ear

i do - i struggled between using "i do" or "i miss you", because in the raws he only used one word (directly translates to "miss"), but decided to go with this one bc it gives off the short feeling as the raw does :)