During the grand selection year, with thousands of staring eyes around the imperial palace, this court official’s son easily and silently went to meet the King of Hell.
The King of Hell even released him in the middle of the night and sent him back to sing a lucky folk tune, adding some color to the courtesan competition in the imperial capital!
There just so happened to be a small squad of city guards patrolling the area; as soon as they saw Wang BaoCheng’s dead body, they knew that something big had happened, and immediately blocked the surrounding onlookers from getting closer while reporting to TianJi Pavilion.
The so-called “TianJi Pavilion” belonged to one of the branches of the national sect Xuan Yin.
The immortals of XuanYin Mountain focused on cultivating and normally didn’t come down to the mortal world. TianJi Pavilion acted as a proxy for handling all mundane and trivial affairs, so it was also called “Mortal Realm Walkers”.
“Mortal Realm Walkers” are cultivators who have one foot on the cultivation path already and are in their “enlightenment period”. It’s said that they can draw spiritual energy into their body, but they didn’t truly lay a foundation and embark on the path of cultivation. People in the mortal world usually call them “half-immortals”, and because they wear blue robes when doing business, folks also call them “blue-robed half-immortals”.
Cultivators in the enlightenment period could live up to one or two hundred years old, knew all sorts of mysterious and magical techniques, and didn’t bow down to the emperor. Since they were on the path of cultivation, they exterminated evil spirits and defended traditional values, and were the ones that the national sect dispatched officially to ensure the peace and safety of DaWan. They typically weren’t under the court’s control, and when it was convenient, they could even mobilize local troops that numbered under a thousand.
The “Mortal Realm Walkers” of TianJi Pavilion came quickly—in JinPing City, other than TianJi Pavilion’s general office, there were seven other stations that corresponded to the seven mansions of the Azure Dragon in the heavens. Collectively called “Azure Dragon Tower”, it’s said that they exist to guard JinPing’s dragon vein, and they patrol every night.
The Heart Mansion of the Azure Dragon Tower was thankfully not far from the decorated pleasure boats’ crossing. The guard on duty that night had the surname Zhao, name Yu; when Wang BaoChang the zombie had just started screeching, the bronze bells at the top of Azure Dragon Tower began to uniformly shake, alarming the meditating Senior Zhao.
When Zhao Yu brought two of his men with him to the boat crossing, the city guards could see the eye-catching sapphire blue robes from a long distance away. They gave way one by one, greeting them respectfully by saying, “Senior.”
Zhao Yu strode to the foot of the corpse without even squinting. Before he could take a closer look, he first heard a heart-piercing cry from more than a hundred meters away.
A xiaowei of the city guards that was guarding the body hurriedly said, “Senior, we’ve already chased away the random onlookers. The family of the dead has come.”
“There are many evil techniques. Before the corpse has been clearly examined, don’t let the common people come and make trouble,” Zhao Yu casually ordered. He then asked, “Who is the dead?”
The xiaowei replied, “The son of the Minister of War.”
After hearing this, Zhao Yu paused slightly, his tone becoming more polite. “Explain the story to the family and ask them to sit to the side first… Later, I will personally comfort and accompany Lord Wang.”
The xiaowei made a sound in agreement, turned his head, and had the guards under him carry out the orders. He carried a kerosene lamp and followed along, then handed Zhao Yu a green jade plaque wrapped in silk cloth: “Senior, this fell from the deceased. There are words on it.”
A corner of the jade plaque had been smashed, and there were only the eight characters for one’s birth data on it, with no beginning or end to it.
Before Zhao Yu could take a clear look at it, another city guard officer trotted over.
“Come over and speak,” Zhao Yu raised his eyes. “What’s the matter?”
“R-replying to senior.” In front of a Mortal Realm Walker, the officer almost didn’t know how to speak anymore. Speaking without rhyme or reason, he said, “We found his family… Xiao Si said, my family’s young… no, his family’s young master was still drinking with others at ZuiLiuHua half an hour ago and there was nothing amiss. ZuiLiuHua hasn’t closed yet, and a lot of people saw the deceased… Just now, he said he’d drunk too much and wanted to take a walk outside, but who knew he wouldn’t return after going out.”
The xiaowei scowled and said: “Nonsense. Bring that Xiao Si over and interrogate him at once! The body has already stiffened until this point; even an underestimate would say that he’s been dead for five or six hours!”
The officer shrank back and mumbled a response.
“That’s not for certain.” After Zhao Yu finished listening, he asked someone to flip Wang BaoChang’s body over. He thought for a short while, took out an ornamental thumb ring from his chest pocket, and clasped it onto his thumb. On the ring, a clear jade the size of a soybean was inlaid. Senior Zhao pressed the guanyuan, sea of qi, and danzhong spots on the body and forcefully slammed his fingers into the tiantu acupuncture point. At the same time, he pressed the clear jade on the ornamental ring against the corpse’s nose and mouth.
Wang BaoChang’s corpse made a pu sound, like a coal stove that was leaking air, and the seven apertures of his head began to let out black smoke, rushing into the clear jade.
The surrounding city guards and officers collectively shrank back, and the xiaowei that was holding the lantern involuntarily raised his neck and held his breath desperately.
They saw the clear jade, which was originally as transparent and clean as ice, take in all the smoke and turn into a charcoal-colored, briquette-looking bead. Looking closely, it emitted a slightly rusty, dark red color as well.
“The blood and vital breath hasn’t dispersed yet,” Zhao Yu affirmed. “He only just swallowed the smoke; it’s still fresh.”
The city guards and officers didn’t dare to breathe and could only exchange looks with each other. They unanimously decided that from this person’s appearance, it didn’t really look very fresh.
Zhao Yu ordered: “Shave his head.”
The xiaowei had pandered to him too much and just so happened to be beside him. He didn’t dare shirk this duty, so he had to bite the bullet and do it himself.
When he’d shaved off a little less than half of the corpse’s hair, the xiaowei uttered a “huo” and jumped up from the ground—only to see that the corpse’s flesh, from the top of the head, turned bright red, as if a piece of rouge paper was stuck to the scalp. The red edge was already nearing his hairline and was about to spill over onto his face in front of everyone’s eyes.
Zhao Yu weighed the jade plaque in his hand with the eight characters of birth data on it, and his expression turned darker: “‘Hidden Head’; someone has forcibly conducted a ghost marriage with him.”
Xi Ping only heard about this the next morning.
The night before, he had insisted on “flying” into Prince Zhuang’s palace. His Royal Highness Zhuang was born with a condition called “murky eyes”. Alarmed in the middle of the night, he’d donned a cloak, taken a look outside, and almost gone blind. He scolded continuously three times, “Outrageous!” and had called someone to drag the large moth away to wash and clean himself. That eldest son’s heart was as wide as the sky and the earth, and after washing himself clean, had decided to settle and sleep in the Zhuang palace until the sun was high in the sky.
Who knew that, as soon as dawn came, Prince Zhuang pulled him out of bed to meet guests.
Xi Ping was still confused while he was cleaned and dressed, and was sent to the South study room. In the South study room, he met a Mortal Realm Walker that looked like a bodhisattva. The “bodhisattva” tossed a bomb in his face: Wang BaoChang, strong as an ox, whom he “gabeng”ed last night, died just like that!
Xi Ping forgot for a moment to close his opened folding fan, and the four characters “National Grace, Divine Fragrance” on the fan were displayed horizontally across his chest. He was struck dumb, looking like a nationally graced, divinely fragranced wooden chicken.
Prince Zhuang coughed lightly from beside him.
Xi Ping picked up a tea cup out of habit and used the back of his hand to check the temperature before handing it to him. Then, he came back to his senses and his expression changed: “The people from our household found the body? Then what about my father? Was he there at that time too? Did he see the dead body as well?”
When the Marquis was young, he was known as “DaWan’s WeiJie”, a male Xi Shi. When he was idle, he would whine that his chest hurt, so wouldn’t running into a howling corpse in the middle of the night scare him so much that he develops problems?
The Mortal Realm Walker replied: “That wasn’t the case. Rest assured, the Marquis was one step behind everyone else at the time and wasn’t with the guards.”
“Oh,” Xi Ping waved his “National Grace, Divine Fragrance” fan twice, his heart landing back in his stomach. “What did you just say? What is ‘conducting a ghost marriage’?”
“It’s an evil, forbidden technique to murder,” the Mortal Realm Walker explained patiently. “The evil spirit that conducts the technique will try to make the victim take a dead person’s gengtie. Then they take away fresh blood and three hairs, mixing it with corpse oil, incense ash, cinnabar, etc., to make into pigment. They’ll write a ‘marriage letter’ on a piece of human skin that is completely peeled, and written on the gengtie is eight characters of birth data of the human skin’s original owner. The ‘auspicious time’ written on the ‘marriage letter’ is the date of the victim’s death, and their words and deeds before death are as written on the marriage letter. Even if they were to cut off their own flesh and swallow it, they’ll do it as written. People that go through a ghost marriage are not dead yet, but their body will first stiffen. After death, they will start to turn red from the top of their head, and within three hours, the red mark will spread to the chin, like a bride’s veil. Thus, this sort of appearance during death is called “underworld veil”.
After Xi Ping finished listening, he was shocked. “No, wait a minute, that… Senior, you’re saying that an evil spirit caught Wang DaGou to become his son-in-law… no, wife? What kind of spirit has such an offensive taste… hss!”
Prince Zhuang kicked him once under the table and interrupted his thoroughly heartless opinion.
The Mortal Realm Walker that paid a visit to Prince Zhuang’s palace was indeed Zhao Yu, Zhao Senior himself.
The night before, TianJi Pavilion searched the decorated pleasure boats’ crossing and found nothing, which is why they came to look for Xi Ping—he was the last living person to see Wang BaoChang. After hearing that he’d stayed in the Third Prince’s palace overnight, Zhao Yu came to visit him personally.
Zhao Yu was very cultured and didn’t lower himself to Xi Ping’s level, only asking, “I’d like to ask shizi, did you notice anything unusual at the pleasure dragon boats’ crossing yesterday?”
Xi Ping thought for a while. “No, I was the strangest thing along the crossing yesterday.”
Zhao Yu continued to ask, “Then does shizi know if the deceased had any grudges with anyone?”
Xi Ping let out a “huo”. When something like this was brought up, he became energized, and closed his fan: “Then there really are a lot. Wang… Official Wang’s relationships with other people, you should ask around on both sides of the LingYang River. Nine out of ten people want to curse him…”
Seeing how his words became more and more outrageous, Prince Zhuang had to once again interrupt him: “He wasn’t disciplined strictly and was spoiled like nobody raised him. Senior has seen something amusing.”
The Marquis’ eldest son’s “good reputation” was spread far and wide, and Zhao Yu had long ago heard of his rumors. As soon as he saw the pheasant-like person himself, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to find out anything useful from him, and could only turn his head to Prince Zhuang and say: “During the grand selection year, there are evil spirits who have sneaked into JinPing, and using a corpse as an intermediary to plot and murder the son of a court official must mean that their scheme is not small. TianJi Pavilion will naturally try its best to track down these evil demons and unorthodox methods. Nobles that are present, please make sure to be careful—additionally, people who die because of a ghost marriage often carry corpse poison on their bodies. I heard that last night, shizi had physical contact with the deceased; I have a talisman here to relieve the uneasiness of body and mind, so remember to soak it in water and drink it.”
Prince Zhuang waved his hand to make a servant that was about to come forward retreat, personally took the talisman, and turned his head to order someone to bring an antique painting he had in his personal collection. He said to Zhao Yu: “A while ago I happened upon a treasure, but an amateur like me doesn’t know how to take care of it and am unworthy of doing so. I’d heard long ago that there is a Senior Zhao in TianJi Pavilion who is a connoisseur; today, I coincidentally met you, and I can’t help but shamelessly entrust it to you.”
Zhao Yu raised his eyebrows slightly: “Your Royal Highness knows of me?”
Prince Zhuang smiled and replied: “When I was young, Teacher Tang Hua from the Zhao family in Ning’an taught me how to paint. Teacher mentioned you, Senior, more than once.”
Zhao Yu smiled when he heard this, and in front of a young man, he involuntarily assumed an attitude of an elder, nodding: “Tang Hua is the son of my third youngest brother.”
Xi Ping hadn’t eaten since he got up. Prince Zhuang wouldn't let him speak and his heinous mouth was idle as can be, so he had sneakily grabbed snacks from a table on the side. When he heard this, he almost choked on the lotus crisp and couldn’t help but respect and be in awe of the blue-robed senior in front of him—that Teacher Tang Hua was so old that he was already confused, so how old would his uncle even be?
He really knew how to live!
Prince Zhuang is a blue-blooded imperial noble and a mortal. Zhao Yu originally had nothing to say to him and planned to leave after talking about business. Unexpectedly, he was pulled back into the mortal realm by a single mention of “Tang Hua”, and remembered his young nephew from when he was still a mortal. His attitude couldn’t help but become a bit more polite, and he said: “The immortal envoy is about to enter the imperial capital, so it’ll only be chaotic for a short while. These days, remember to not go out often and don’t receive any things like eight character birth data or gengtie. Punishing evil spirits and exterminating demons are things that we should do, so Your Royal Highness, there’s no need to be polite, and the painting…”
He hadn’t finished speaking yet when the servant brought a wooden box and opened the cover. Zhao Yu’s refusal became stuck in his throat.
Xi Ping craned his neck over to take a look and saw that there was a surviving section of a classical work inside. It was only about half a foot in area, tattered, and he said to himself: What is this, a trashy rag that was soaked in a vat of dye?
However, when the Mortal Realm Walker Senior Zhao saw this “rag”, it took all his strength to not show the wild waves that began to crash in his heart. Since he suppressed it too much, his voice sounded a little tight when he said: “Fushan Hai Shi Tu.”
Prince Zhuang, unruffled, smiled and said: “When it comes to books and paintings, I only have superficial knowledge, and I only have a corner of this painting. I really don’t know if it’s real or fake. I heard that Senior has a ‘guanlan’ that can differentiate if it’s real or not; please have a look at it.”
The corner of Zhao Yu’s eyes twitched slightly. He reached his hand out and twisted, putting on his ornamental thumb ring with the clear jade on it. The clear jade had just gotten close to the painting when it started to emit a soft, white light, immediately announcing that this painting was as real as real can be.
“Looks like I wasn’t tricked, so it was a good risk to take. If it really was fake, then I would have lost face in front of Senior today.” When Prince Zhuang finished saying this, he ordered someone to pack the painting up, saying, “Senior, you must not be so polite. Teacher Tang Hua is an old teacher of mine, and you’re his elder, so respecting you is expected.”
<Fushan Hai Shi Tu> was split up and in pieces because of war. Zhao Yu had strenuously searched for 50 years and had only found two corners of the painting. If he had found it somewhere else, he would have been wild with joy and done anything to get his hands on it.
But right now, no matter how Prince Zhuang managed to obtain it, the reason why Zhao Yu was so surprised was because this painting was the key to building a foundation and moving to the next step on the path of cultivation. Every half-immortal still in practice all had a “key” like this that was kept top secret.
Why would Prince Zhuang give him this painting?
Was it a coincidence, or…
The weak-looking, sickly young man’s smile was very clean, as if he didn’t know anything about the value of the antique painting.
Zhao Yu couldn’t help but be doubtful and panicked in his heart, yet he definitely couldn’t refuse that corner of the antique painting. After pondering for a long time, he put his now slightly-hot ornamental thumb ring with the inlaid clear jade in his palm and cupped his hands in obeisance, saying in a low voice: “If it’s like that, then many thanks to Your Royal Highness. I don’t know if there’s anything Your Royal Highness can assign to me…”
“Ai,” Prince Zhuang interrupted him, “How would I dare to? I merely want to create a good connection with Senior. I’m able to peacefully and safely live in JinPing City entirely because of the blessings and protection of the immortals and half-immortals like Senior.”
Zhao Yu gave him a deep look, closed the painting, and stood up to leave. Prince Zhuang personally walked him to the door.
Xi Ping didn’t want to figure out what silent riddles these two were playing at. As soon as Senior Zhao left, he slinked behind Prince Zhuang like a mangy mutt, ready to give him a back massage.
“To the side,” Prince Zhuang’s expression changed as soon as he turned back, taking down the smile that seemed to be stuck to his face. “I can’t stop the beating for you.”
Xi Ping then took back his paws and poured tea for Prince Zhuang. “Thank you Third Brother for taking me in; please drink some tea.”
Prince Zhuang scowled and stared at him.
The surname of DaWan’s emperors is “Zhou”. The Third Prince, Prince Zhuang’s first name is Ying, and he was born with a gentle temperament and mild personality, so no matter how hard he stared, he couldn’t look harsh.
Xi Ping was all smiles anyways and wasn’t afraid of him at all.
Prince Zhuang interrogated him: “What actually happened last night?”
“The zodiac year of birth is unlucky and unfavorable, I guess.” Xi Ping squeezed an iced lychee, peeled it, and tossed it in his mouth. “At ZuiLiuHua, a girl’s stage musician yesterday had an accident. The song she was going to sing was one that I wrote, and seeing how things were difficult for her… and, well, I was itching to do something anyways, so I dressed up and accompanied her for a song. Who knew that I’d be so unlucky and bump into my father. That old man from our household isn’t very proper at all anyways, you know, letting one steal a horse while not allowing another to look over the hedge. He sent people to chase me down eight streets, until the bottom of my feet were so worn they started to bleed…”
Prince Zhuang angrily replied: “Downright outrageous!”
“Who said it wasn’t?” Xi Ping slapped his thigh. “Since I bumped into him, so be it, but it was embarrassing because wouldn’t it be over if he and I just pretended to not know each other? But he had to yell so loudly and now the whole city knows; doesn’t he find it shameful?!”
Prince Zhuang: “...”
It was hard to explain his uncle’s family in a few words, and His Royal Highness’ temple started to hurt. He knocked the armrest of his wooden chair, had someone bring warm water, dissolved the paper talisman that Senior Zhao gave him in the water, and pressed Xi Ping to drink it.
“I-I-I-I’ll do it myself… ugh… oh boy, what sort of smell is this? This talisman better not be drawn on torn straw paper.”
Prince Zhuang: “If you keep talking nonsense, your mouth is going to be plugged with rough straw paper.”
Xi Ping hurriedly grabbed a handful of candy to shove into his mouth first so that there was nowhere to put the mentioned straw paper.
Prince Zhuang glared at him for a while until his eyes were sore, but his gaze still wasn’t able to penetrate the kid’s three-foot thick skin. He could only helplessly say, “Didn’t you hear just now that the immortal envoy is coming? You should stop for a couple of days. These days, stay at home obediently for me; if you don’t want to study, then sleep, but you’re not allowed to go to those messy places again.”
Xi Ping spit out the fruit core. “The selections have nothing to do with me…”
“You’re a son of a Marquis and at an appropriate age, so how does it have nothing to do with you?” Prince Zhuang’s face color returned to normal and he called out his next words: “You’re not young anymore, and it’s time to think about your own future a little!”
“A Marquis’ family still has a golden threshold and wooden threshold. Isn’t our family’s ‘water threshold’ rented from DaLongWang Temple?” Xi Ping nonchalantly said. “Third Older Brother, stop almost ridiculing my father. He’s getting up there in age, so leave some face for him.”
The Yong Ning Marquis’ “water” threshold wasn’t some secret—during the reign of Emperor Xian, DaWan’s aristocratic families were all linked together and the relatives were a disaster; at one point, the dynasty was covered in a foul atmosphere. Nowadays, the Son of Heaven is an iron-fisted person; after succeeding the throne and enduring silently for fifteen years, he brought order to the chaos in one move by cutting out a few large families of relatives, nearly deposing his own empress in the process.
Many nobles in the palace were of noble birth and were somehow implicated by their mother’s family, so just like that, due to an unexpected turn of events, the Xi family ended up standing out.
The Xi family came from a poor and humble background with a low-ranking official father who died too early and an incompetent brother on their mother’s side that had to carry on the family. The Xi family was like a green foxtail that was accidentally mixed in with a peony garden and unexpectedly caught the eyes of the emperor. Later on, she gave birth to the talented and well-versed Third Prince, was spoiled the whole way, and rose to become an Imperial Noble Consort.
Including the men, women, old, and young, there were three generations of the Xi family. They were all beautiful yet idiots.
Although idiots are useless, they’re harmless. This family doesn’t cause trouble, fight, or harm the country and its people; instead, they focused on their own household. Plopping them into court even warmed the heart and delighted the eye. The emperor, to disgust his political enemies, granted the empty, idle title of “Yong Ning Marquis” to his concubine and her older brother with a wave of his brush that year, hoping that they would not forget their original intentions and would forever stay unhurried.
Them being a “decorative” Marquis household was fine to bluff the ordinary folks, but it was nearly meaningless to try and deceive Xuan Yin Mountain for a “selection invitation”. After all, Prince Zhuang was still young, and they hadn’t replaced his older princely brother.
Unless the children in the family were especially outstanding and had an excellent reputation.
However, with Young Master Xi’s “good reputation”... tsk, forget it.
Even if Xuan Yin Mountain’s selection invitation was scattered all over JinPing City, it still wouldn’t land in his arms. For the past couple of years, his mother was concerned with discussing his marriage.
Prince Zhuang: “Even if you’re a good-for-nothing, don’t bring Uncle down with you.”
Xi Ping let out a “hai”: “A tiger can’t give birth to a dog. What kind of face does he have left by raising someone like me?”
Prince Zhuang couldn’t say anything in response for a while.
Xi Ping wiped his hands, pulled the small porcelain plate over, and peeled two lychees to put in front of Prince Zhuang.
His guqin skills were remarkable and had very nimble fingers, so the peeled fruit was very clean and not sticky at all: “Eating too much of this will raise your internal heat, Third Brother, so I’ll peel two of them and leave it here. It’s just to let your mouth taste something sweet; don’t eat too much.”
This kid couldn’t be considered anything when he was being naughty, but when he was being good, he was truly good. Prince Zhuang’s raised eyebrows softened.
Then he heard Xi Ping come up with more outrageous things to say: “I don’t want to go anyways. Xuan Yin Mountain is picky about so many things, with their ‘three paths and disciplines’ and not allowing this or that… Is that really the life of a human being? Immortality like that isn’t as good as dying young.”
While he said that, he probably ate too many lychees and let out a full burp on the spot.
Prince Zhuang took back his hand that was about to take a lychee, and feeling dejected yet suffocated, said: “Nonsense, why is there nothing taboo when you speak! I… you… scram scram scram, outside.”
Xi Ping immediately stood up. “Alrighty.”
“Wait, cousin Xi,” Prince Zhuang called out to him again, “Even for nothing else, there have been a lot of incidents in the capital lately, and someone has even died. Don’t go out too often to fool around, do you hear?”
Xi Ping was saying “Yes sir”, but his feet had already slipped him out of the South study room—as long as he ran fast enough, Third Brother’s sincere advice couldn’t catch up to him.
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Translator's Notes:
lay a foundation - foundation period is the first key period in the process of cultivation, and the basis of everything--only after finishing the foundation period can someone be considered to be on the cultivation path.
xiaowei - a military title; unsure of what it corresponds to in english so i left it in pinyin for now!
guanyan - an acupuncture point
danzhong - another acupuncture point
gabeng - sound effect for a crash
WeiJie - someone admired by the masses Xi Shi - one of the renowned four beauties of ancient china, so the marquis was likewise a beauty
gengtie - card with the horoscope of a boy or girl sent as a proposal for betrothal
shizi - eldest son/heir; has always referred to xi ping thus far. originally i wanted to just stick with the eldest son usage like i previously did, but now its being used almost as if its his name so i'm going to use pinyin when appropriate!
seen something amusing - it's more of "my apologies" or "you must be laughing at him", its very polite!
third youngest brother - the third eldest son but zhao yu is older than this third eldest son so i used younger brother..LOL ENGLISH
unlucky - the original in chinese says 命犯太岁，流年不利呗 (the title is in here!!) and that's all i wanted to point out LOL
letting one steal a horse while not allowing another to look over the hedge - a proverb that means what it sounds like; hypocrite?
straw paper - this could also mean toilet paper but...i don't think it was invented back then...but it would've been funnier LOL
Yong Ning - it means eternal peace!
Twitter: @jiyangtrans